Adventures of Lexi and Xime Final Fantasy Style
by XimeTheNobody
Summary: When Lexi and her Wifey Xime go on their first adventure things are bound to go a little crazy
1. Into The Jello

Alexis was awestruck as she stand in the doorway of her wifey Xime's room. Xime's television screen seemed to be a red, green, and blue jello-like substance. She was even more surprised to see her wifey was able to take her hand in and out of the screen easily.

"What happened?" She asked uncertainly

"I don't know. I was playing final fantasy seven when suddenly the screen just started making a buzzing noise and kinda melted into this, so I touched it and its some kind of portal thing." Xime explained, buckling the top of her Vincent Valentine cloak, and placing her top hat on her short black hair.

"Well what are we waiting for, LETS GO!" Lexi exclaimed, putting on her rainbow beanie, and ushering Xime into the portal.

"WoooooooooHoooooooooo!" Xime screamed once she fell face first into the portal, spinning around on its apparent floor.

"Oh YEAH!" Lexi yelled grabbing Xime's hand as they slid down the slide-like portal floor. Eventually the portal came to an end, and Lexi along with her wifey Xime, fell on the rocky ground the portal lead to.

"WOAH, Xime you look different!" Lexi told her wifey in awe. Xime looked down to discover that she indeed looked much different. Her cloak, although still the same, had become much more heavy and realistic. Her outfit had changed from its original design.

It now was a black strapless top with black tattered sleeves starting at her elbow, A short back skirt with some assorted belts and chains, Black fishnet stockings, and black knee high lace up boots with some tattered black fabric going up past it. She also discovered that hiding in her cloak and around her outfit was some assorted weapons such as; shuriken, kunai, daggers, two sai, two katana's strapped to her waist, an assortment of guns fastened to her cloak, and some other types of sword and blades attached to the cloak, oh and of course the whip that was somehow attached to her waist.

She looked at Lexi to discover that her outfit had also morphed into a simple black strapless dress with black lace arm warmers and thigh high boots that zipped in the back, it was finished off with a purple trench coat that Xime could only assume held the same amount of weapons as hers did.

They looked at each other, smiled, laughed, and then cried as they realized that they weren't in their own world anymore.

"Do you need some help?" A voice asked startling the girls who were unaware of anyone coming towards them. Xime was the first to look up, becoming amazed as she took in the sight before her.

A boy-or I should say man- of a height of 5'8 with shining blue eyes that can only be achieved from the use of mako energy and amazingly spiky blonde hair stood before them, looking annoyed of having to ask these girls for help.

"Yeah, we're trying to get to Nibelhiem. Could you help us?" Alexis asked making up the question on the spot knowing that was exactly where they were going.

"Cloud, were already going to Nibelhiem, lets take them with us?" Asked a beautiful young woman with braided brown hair and a kind voice by the name of Aeris.

"Ugh Fine." Cloud gave in knowing that there was no way that they would lose this argument do to the soft spot Aeris had for children.

"My names Alexis, and this is my wifey Xime, she's shy so she probably wont be talking for awhile." Lexi announced to Cloud and Aeris

"Well Im Aeris and this is Cloud, he's antisocial so he'll probably just ignore you guys until he gives up." Aeris replied instantly liking these girls.

Xime, Alexis, Aeris, Cloud, Nanaki, Barret, and Yuffie all walked into Nibelhiem, the last three who appeared when the first two arrived with the second two (make sense?) Arriving at the gates Xime and Alexis simultaneously walked towards the Shin Ra mansion.

"Don't go in there! Its dangerous!" Cloud hissed grabbing the two girls

"Aww Cloud your worrying about us. DON'T." Xime growled talking for the first time since she and her wifey got to this other world.

"Im not worrying about you. You'll get yourself killed in there!" He exclaimed and was roughly picked up by his collar.

"Why? Because we're _girls_?" Xime questioned totally breaking her silence

"No because you have no weapons." Cloud replied a bit of edge in his voice.

"HA please." She laughed dropping Cloud to the ground and opening her cloak so that all of the group could see the amazing assortment of weapons she had.

"We win." Lexi said simply as her and her wife walked hand in hand towards the Shin Ra mansion that held so many surprises.

"Wait. We're coming with you." Cloud told them walking ahead towards the previously stated mansion. Once they all entered the mansion Xime and Alexis walked up to the staircase.

"To the safe!" Xime cried walking up the steps with Lexi in tow

"Why?" Yuffie asked them

"Because there's materia in it!" Lexi exclaimed. They all walked to the top floor where they discovered…a safe.

"Uh what about opening it?" Yuffie asked

"MAKE IT EXPLODE!BLOOM! I MEAN BOOM!" Lexi yelled

"Uh how about I put in the combination." Xime offered

"Do you know what it is?" Cloud asked skeptically

"Yep. Right 36, Left 10, Right 59, Right 97!" Xime quoted perfectly

"How could you possibly know that?" He replied

"I just do okay, Strife." She answered messing with his brain

As she finished the combination with the last click, the safe opened to reveal…a scary monster who spit fire at Cloud(haha)

"What is that?" Barret roared

"Lost number. So Aeris seal evil, and everyone else magic on the purple side and direct attacks on the red side, got it memorized?" Xime asked

Once the lost number was defeated and Yuffie took all the materia, Nanaki the instructions for the Cosmo memory, and Xime the basement key

"Why didn't you mention that giant monster _before_ you unlocked the safe?" Cloud asked obviously annoyed with Xime the moment she started talking

"You were gonna have to fight it eventually." She answered simply


	2. SEPHYS DEMISE

"Now to the basement!" Xime exclaimed running down the steps with her wifey

"What's in the basement?" Yuffie asked, because she really liked these girls

"A HOT GUY!" Xime and Lexi answered simultaneously

"TO THE BASEMENT!" Yuffie ordered running off with the two girls

Once all three girls got to the locked door they waited patiently- well as patient as extremely inpatient girls can get- for the rest of the group to get there.

"Okay why are we going in here?" Cloud asked

"Cuz of the hot guy." Yuffie answered in a no-duh voice, as Xime preceded to unlock the door and then push Cloud in, who in turn pushed the lid off of a coffin.

Once pushing the lid off the coffin he fell on the hot guy- AKA Vincent Valentine- in a kinda- okay VERY suggestive pose causing Yuffie, Xime, and Alexis to crack up laughing.

"Wait…" Xime said skeptically as she rethought the course of the game

"This sucks cow nipples!" she decided

"Why?" Her wifey asked

"Think about it, you unlock the safe, defeat the monster, find the hot guy-AKA Vincent valentine- and then who has to show up?" She asked

"SEPHIROTH!" Alexis screamed and then stomped her left foot

"Sephiroth?" Cloud asked

"Yeppers like peppers, he should be here soon." Xime said as she took out a Winchester magical colt and got ready until she saw her wife look at her with a what-about-cloud look

"Oh sorry, Cloud can I kill Sephiroth ?" Xime asked him

"Yes. Yes you can." Cloud stated as he began to rethink his feelings for this girl. About 3 seconds after that Sephiroth came bursting through the wall and Xime shot him with the Winchester colt with her incredible marksmanship that she had gained from playing so much Halo and Modern Warfare and left 4 dead. She shot him right in the heart and he fell down dead.

"You do realize that you just changed the entire course of advent children." Lexi told her in a point blank tone

"I know but I didn't want to wait that long just so cloud could kill him…wait if he is dead now does that mean Aeris will never die?-" Alexis nodded "-So cloud will never fall him love with Tifa?-" another nod "-YES!" she finished happily

"But wait, Sephy will still end up having the remnants do work for him so he doesn't have to be a memory?" Xime questioned

"Probably." Lexi replied

"So there will still be a Kadaj?"

"Yes…"

"YES!" Xime yelled excitedly, what she had a 'thing' for cat boy

"So what's with the hot guy?" Yuffie asked

"Oh yeah that's Vincent Valentine and he has been in that coffin for some thirty something years and he used to be an experiment in the Shin Ra labs when Dr. Lucrecia put the demon chaos in him even though he was a Turk because Hojo told her to do it and to experiment on her unborn baby and then he killed her and Vinny here put her in cryogenics and she's on an island somewhere and then he went to sleep in this coffin here." Xime explained impressively in one breath

"how do you know all that?" Vincent asked Xime

"I just do love, I know everything." Xime replied with a coy smile

"So now that the entire course of Final Fantasy has been changed because I killed Sephiroth what are we supposed to do now?" Xime asked her wife

"We could just hang, I mean we cant go to seventh heaven…or I guess we could IDK.." Alexis replied uncertainly

"So Cloud what do you want to do?" the two girls questioned simultaneously

"I don't know…" Cloud answered unsure of what his options were

"Wellllll…lets just stay here I mean no one else is." Alexis offered

"Why not." Xime agreed

"WAIT! We have to go to Seventh Heaven because then then then we have to meet the remnants when they get here." Alexis begged.

"Okay." Cloud replied giving in to the puppy dog eyes.

So the group went off in search of seventh heaven, unknowing that Sephy was still alive and plotting their demise for later.


End file.
